Stories
by Bob Weafer
by Matt Ornduff
by Dave Smith
by Coach Mike Zegunis
I am Kyle’s father, and have become his greatest fan. I never thought this high school football experience could happen for him. I remember when he was born – on Super Bowl Sunday 1991 believe it or not – I recall how happy I was to have a son. Selfishly, I thought about fulfilling a dream of mine (and perhaps any father) – that I would someday would sit in the stands of the high school football stadium and say proudly, “that’s my son”. As it turned out, we knew something was wrong at a very young age, and Kyle was diagnosed with autism just short of his 3rd birthday. The doctors told us he would probably never mutter more than a few words together. He had his share of behavioral issues and had great difficulty with transitions outside of any normal routine. He would only eat chips and salsa and would only drink Diet Coke for most of his life. His diet was a major issue, as were the clothes he would wear. He still has many tactile and sensory issues that make wearing appropriate attire difficult if not impossible for him. He would never wear pants and socks and any form of layered clothing – for Kyle, it was always Shorts and T-shirts and an occasional football jersey. And on top of that, the color had to be purple. Only purple.
So we moved from California to Kansas in 1995 – primarily because we had heard that the local school district was so proactively supportive of special needs children like Kyle. That was the best decision we ever made. Kyle will always be autistic and will always live with that handicap. But a fan base and support group emerged for Kyle which has grown deeper and more significant through the years. Any school teacher or student would tell you their own story about how Kyle’s innocence and good-natured spirit has touched their lives. He has a quality that I cannot begin to describe. He has grown up around kids that have known him since pre-school, and they have witnessed his struggles and challenges. But these peers have also seen a little boy grow up to be all he can be. He’s the “pool king” at our neighborhood pool. Every summer day for at least the last 10 years, Kyle would sit and wait for the lifeguards to arrive in the morning. They allow him to open the combination lock on the gate and he would clean the pool and the bathrooms every single day. He has never missed a day at the pool and would never leave the pool until he personally had locked the gate later that evening. That’s a day that would start at 10am and not end before 9pm. Come rain or shine. It became such an obsession that we could never take a family vacation. It was Kyle’s pool, and he had to be there, period!
Kyle is now a senior at Blue Valley Northwest High School in Overland Park, Kansas. Something remarkable happened this year. It’s as if Kyle had the intuition to know this was the right thing to do. Kyle has always been a huge sports fan. And being that he will (still) only wear the color purple, he’s follows K-State football and basketball incessantly. We make our share of trips to Manhattan every year to watch the Wildcats play. But he’s never had any inclination to play team sports. He’s always loved shooting hoops in the driveway or throwing passes in the cul-de-sac, but never once showed any interest in playing with or even watching the local high school (Blue Valley Northwest) play. Then in January of this year, Kyle looked at me and said, “I play football”. I was obviously shocked and surprised to say the least, and figured this latest fixation would pass. I warned Kyle that playing football would mean wearing a uniform – socks and cleats and helmets and mouthpieces – all of which would be instant non-starters for him. I told him it would mean getting a physical – Kyle hates going to the doctor. I told him it would mean missing the pool during summer football camp – which I certainly thought would change his tune. But he pressed on and continued to say, “I play football”.
It got to the point that I finally called Coach Zegunas and asked him to meet with us. The coach had posted a meeting list outside his office for all interested seniors who wanted to play football, and Kyle had apparently signed up on this list – that was remarkable to me in itself. Kyle and I met with Coach Z at 2:55pm on Friday, January 16th, 2009. I went as a supportive father that never really thought this would materialize. I started explaining Kyle’s disability to the coach and all the issues we may face - and he stopped me in midstream by saying how much he would love to have Kyle play for his Huskies. He said that everyone in the school knew Kyle and that he needed no introduction. It was as if Coach Z knew how much this meant to us, and I recall thinking to myself what a class act that was. He told Kyle it would take sacrifices and dedication and a 100% effort, and that he would accept any young man on his team that could make that commitment. “Don’t be lazy”, Kyle responded – that’s a quote I will never forget.
Coach Z suggested that as a first test, he’d place him in the offseason weightlifting / conditioning program that the team did every day after school. To ease into this new routine, Kyle would go once a week in January. January came and went, and when February arrived, Kyle said, “I go two days”. Kyle was getting into this now, and when March came, he said, “I go three days”. Before long, Kyle was in there every day while becoming a true gym rat and true member of the team. The boys on the team acknowledged his hard work with “high fives” while spotting him on the bench press or running cone drills – it motivated Kyle immensely and it formed some unique bond - as if the boys knew what an accomplishment this was.
I still thought we were miles from playing football. There was the uniform issue, which I thought would instantly put this dream to bed. Kyle has never shown any ability to dress accordingly. I cannot take him to Chiefs or K State games beyond November because he won’t wear shoes or a coat when it’s cold. Kyle wears flip flops and shorts year round, period! So step 1 was to buy a pair of cleats. I went to eBay and found a cheap pair for about $30 that Kyle had agreed to – they had a Velcro fastener he insisted on because he will not / cannot tie shoes - I figured I’d minimize my investment knowing I’d never get him to wear them.
Summer camp came in July. Coach Z had told me that this would probably be the moment of truth for Kyle. These kids were sacrificing their summer fun to practice in the summer heat for 4-5 hours a day – meaning Kyle would miss his pool time. If this project were to fail, it would happen during a grueling summer camp. But Kyle never missed a beat. He never missed a practice, and when we weren’t home to take him, he rode his bike at 6am to the stadium. That was a feat in itself – I remember driving the route in my car, with Kyle peddling his bike next to me along the way – just to make sure he traveled the safest and surest route once on his own. The cleats and uniform issues never really surfaced. He wore them with pride and never complained. We struggled with the socks, but found some low profile Under Armor booties that he wears (they can’t touch his ankles because he says they are too itchy).
When the pads finally went on and full contact practice started in August, Kyle took it all in stride. He had lost 37 pounds since January and suddenly looked like a football player. He was doing all the drills and sprints and found a home as a defensive lineman on the scout team – always looking for acknowledgement with his “thumbs up” to everyone. Coach would end every practice with a series of 40 yard sprints. Kyle finished dead last for the first couple of weeks, but every week he’d finish ahead of someone else. Now he counts them down – I think he’s up to 8 or 9 other lineman that he can beat. That’s not on ability, athleticism or coordination – that’s just Kyle trying hard and wanting to be accepted.
When I put him on the bus to Wichita for their first game against Andover West on Friday, September 4th, I had tears in my eyes. What an experience it must be for an autistic boy to get on a big commercial tour bus and drive 3 hours to Wichita all by himself with the coolest guys in the world sitting there next to him. That is what is so powerful about this story. Through it all I have met other young men with more heart and generosity than I thought possible. Without any direction or recognition, I recently learned that several of the boys on the team have been taking Kyle with them for a local elementary school program called “Football for Paragraphs”. The players are dressed in their game jerseys and visit the children in an effort that inspires them to read. They actually let Kyle read to the students! Another example involves Matt Ornduff, who is the star wide receiver on the team. Matt’s mother came up to me last night at the game and gave me an envelope. She simply said to go home and read this. Inside the envelope was a copy of a paper Matt had written for his Communication Arts class – apparently a paper he had used for his admission to college. It was all about Kyle, and how within this short little season, Kyle had inspired Matt to look at life with a whole new meaning. These are powerful examples of how these boys have touched each other in ways that go well beyond the wins and losses of a football season.
In closing, I have attached a copy of an article that appeared in the September 17th edition of the Blue Valley Northwest Express, which is the school newspaper. One of the players on the team, Alex Shultz, wrote an article called “Living the Dream”. It is a story about Kyle’s story – a story that has inspired all of us. It has been a great season for the Huskies, who are currently 6-1. Kyle got in for one play in 3 different games this season – to the chant of “Kyle”, “Kyle”, “Kyle”! In each case, it was truly amazing. It’s as if everyone in the stands hopes it’s going to happen and knows when it’s going to happen. And when it does, we all know it’s been a great night for the Huskies. And as the news article says, he comes running off the field with his thumbs up looking happy and accomplished. In the color purple of the home team Huskies no less – how ironic is that!
I’m sure there are many stories that warm the heart like Kyle’s story. But for our community in Overland Park, Kansas, his story has made a great season even better. The inspiration Kyle has brought to the team will never be measured by wins and losses. I’m not sure any of us can even explain it, but I think that is what the Rudy Award is all about. He has overcome so many hurdles and challenges through this experience with never a complaint or fanfare. This is Kyle’s senior year in high school. This is a boy who will never go to college, never drive or car, and probably never marry and have a family of his own. This football season is probably the highlight of his life, and I just want it to slow down so he can enjoy every single moment he has. He is truly “Living the Dream” for many of us.